Poisoned Hearts
by Oceanbreeze7
Summary: Challenge:"…So the only thing keeping me alive is killing me? Ironic, isn't it. I'm dying because of the one thing that keeps me alive, how the hell am I supposed to live with this Jarvis?" Tony groaned, head in hand while Jarvis paused, thinking through what to say. "I do not think you can, Sir." Some Swearing


**This is a challenge, a little swap of order.**

**Now, the order is this-(Obviously) Captain America, Iron Man 1, Thor, Hulk, THEN the Avengers, THEN Ironman2.**

**Yup, Palladium with the Avengers, joy.**

**My inspiration for this is a oneshot i read a while back about Tony dying from Brain Caner, i don't mean to steal any ideas, but there are some similarites with the stories. I tried to change it a fair bit though.**

**I hope you like it- just a note. In this, 'Natalie' (Natasha) Never gave the Lithium shot, which means, that Tony woke up during the battle, not the beginning.**

**It's complected, i know. **

**Enjoy!**

**P.S. I don't _think_ this has any trigger warnings, but it may effect people that have had members of family or friends pass away. Sorry if this hurts you in any way.**

* * *

Tony Stark was a secretive type of person.

He acted just as he was expected to, he wore a plastic smile and said the perfect words to either annoy anyone listening, or follow along with a fake grin and a cocky statement.

Tony didn't like speaking to people about personal matters, thus very few people even knew about them.

He was living well, his close little group of Pepper and Rhodey, both being fantastic, kind and just _perfect_ for him.

And then the Avengers happened.

Tony was secretive, he didn't like his weakness' being known to the world (ignoring the glowing one in his chest). He didn't exactly know _how _to react once five more somewhat unstable meta-humans were shoved into his home.

(Well, the one whose name was Natasha wasn't that bad to live with, at least she was cute.)

It wasn't that much longer after did they settle into a perfect little family, completely calm and relaxed around each other to the point of even sitting down and sniffling (_Manly_ sniffling, because guys did _not_ cry) on movie night when some avian named archer had chosen for them to watch Titanic.

It was…nice.

x-(X)-x

He was feeling off.

He stumbled into his lab nearly four months after the whole Manhattan Incident (As the press was calling it). Steve didn't stop his awkward swaying and his dizzy movements, probably thinking he was on a hangover. (Again, it had taken a while for the others to learn that it was best if he was just left alone when he had drunk.)

"Jarvis, do a few scans." Tony groaned, inhaling sharply as he felt something pulse angrily in the reactor, causing him to wince as he felt another wave of nausea.

_"Sir, I think you should observe the readings personally." _Jarvis spoke again; voice containing worry if that was possible.

Tony frowned, pulling up the files and freezing as he looked over the reports, the mechanical and electromagnetic state of the Reactor, as well as a few other small tests he had Jarvis run. A urine test, a few blood tests and even a small X-ray to make sure the shrapnel wasn't inching any closer.

_Blood analysis: Erythrocytes (Red Blood Cells)- 40%_

_ Plasma-55%_

_ Leukocytes (White blood cells) -1%_

_ Thrombocytes (Platelets) 48 per 600 Erythrocytes_

_ Unknown substance- 4%_

Tony stared at the report blinking as he looked further at the blood work; this 'unknown substance' was rather…odd.

"Jarvis, do further reports on this substance, find out what's drifting around in there." Tony blinked, wincing and curling slightly as another pain jolt swept through him.

_"Sir?"_

"Keep this between us, Jar. Okay? Don't tell Bruce or Pep, it's probably nothing." Tony shrugged with a small shuffle as he got to his feet, walking out of the lab and rubbing one hand over the reactor- where the pain was originating from.

"Probably rubbing on the ribs." Tony muttered rubbing the cool metal as he briefly thought of his X-ray and the chunks of ribs that had been sawed out to fit in the metal device.

He shrugged, not thinking too much on it. After all, he was getting a new idea for a briefcase version of his suit…

x-(X)-x

_"Sir, at the rate of the corrosion due to the neutron bombardment of the arc casing, the toxicity will increase rapidly with use of the neutron energy supply."_

"…So the only thing keeping me alive is killing me? Ironic, isn't it. I'm dying because of the one thing that keeps me alive, how the hell am I supposed to live with this Jarvis?" Tony groaned, head in hand while Jarvis paused, thinking through what to say.

_"I do not think you can, Sir. I..I am unable to find a suitable core for the reactor in substitution of the Palladium core."_

Tony said nothing, looking at the small metallic blood toxicity meter he had made not that long ago, pricking his finger and watching as the device measured the palladium poisoning in his blood stream.

_Blood toxicity: 9%_

At the current rate of increase, his calculations roughly estimated that he'd live for 2 more months, 3 if he drank the chlorophyll Jarvis had supplied.

Tony let out a low sigh, a small morbid feeling of acceptance as he looked at the dark green glass in his hand.

"Hey Jarvis, the Expo is still on, right? Next week Friday?" Tony asked, swirling the thick liquid in his glass while he briefly glanced at a calendar with the marked date on the wall.

_"Yes Sir, the Expo is scheduled for the 15, 12 days from today."_

"…Good." Tony blinked, letting out a sigh before guzzling the thick liquid with a face and walking up the stairs.

The Avengers were sitting on the couches, eagerly watching as Steve was playing chess against Natasha, who was apparently a pro at the game. Steve was lasting pretty well with all of his strategy skills, but Natasha had played for years.

"Hey, Natasha destroying Capsicle?" Tony asked, walking in towards where Thor, Bruce and Clint were huddled around the table.

"Not yet, he's holding his own." Clint grinned, watching eagerly as Steve moved a knight, and winced as Natasha lazily removed it from play with a pawn.

"After this, you've got to play the winner; so far they're the best. If you're as smart as they say, you should be able to beat them." Clint grinned, wiggling his eyebrows in a taunt while Tony mock smacked him on the head.

"Nope, you do not get away with taunting me. No, you're getting your arrows back _pink."_

Clint gasped while Thor gave a rumbling chuckle, causing Bruce to smile.

"You wouldn't _dare."_

"Try me Robin Hood." Tony smirked, the others rolling their eyes as the attention went back to Natasha and Steve, and Tony's smile faltered when he realized that he would _miss this._

He swallowed thickly, the hazy fog of sorrow drifting on his mind while he saw Thor laugh loudly while Clint cheered wildly for Steve.

They didn't need to know- _innocence is bliss._

x-(X)-x

He smiled, waving and walking off screen while some old recording of his father played loudly behind him. He pulled the Palladium scanner from his pocket, pricking his finger and letting out a sigh as he saw the new level. _Blood Toxicity: 19%._

It wasn't good, and Tony knew the time on his little timer was running short.

If anyone went over the recordings of what he said, they'd only see the obvious meaning, the main reason for what he said.

_"It's not about you or us. It's about legacy, what we choose to leave for future generations."_

Nobody would understand what he said, he did. In some ironic twist of his words maybe they'd figure out that he knew he was dying when he said it, when they repeated it over his coffin in some old forgotten graveyard.

That wasn't some crap pushed from his lips in the spur of the moment. The Expo wasn't created to show off his mind or his money, the expo wasn't even mostly about his technology. It was to showcase the brilliance around them, in the everyday world.

It was the minds and inventions that people you'd never look at would hold, people like Yinsen who were able to keep Tony from _dying_ with a spare _car battery._

The Expo wasn't about Tony, it was his little push. His little nudge for the world to start on its own, to create peace and new advancements that would far surpass his own in many years, because he wouldn't be there to help the world on its toddler steps towards greatness.

After the expo and behind his plastic smiles, his heart hurts a little more to see Bruce fully enjoying himself amongst the biologists.

x-(X)-x

He made Pepper the CEO of Stark Industries.

She was stunned beyond belief but accepted it with a little more of a few careless words and ramblings on Tony's part.

The Avengers were surprised, mostly Steve who still wasn't used to Women being in a large part of government or economic responsibility.

With his prowess at avoiding questions, nobody even asked _why_ he did it.

It was just one thing he could cross off of his preparations list.

x-(X)-x

He was in Monoco, Clint was with him because surprisingly, the archer always wanted to go to Monaco.

Clint wrinkled his nose, looking around at the proper looking businessmen and women as the waiters darted through the crowd, delivering drinks.

"That guy- there." Clint pointed towards Hammer, a man who was one of Tony's 'friendenemies'.

"Hammer?" Tony asked with an arched brow while Clint gave a jerk of a nod, eyes narrowing, "I don't like him."

"Join the club, honey. Nobody does." Tony snorted, giving fake smiles as he spotted Clint become hypnotized by the racing cars lining up and getting ready.

A moment of insanity, Tony could say. He had checked his toxicity levels before coming to Monaco, one of those quiet moments down in his lab where he was clutching his head, nearly shaking with the thought of _'Ohgodireallydon'twanttodie. Idon'twanttodiedon'tmakemebehereallalone.'_

But they Tony remembered _why_ he wasn't telling anyone about his medical problem as he started updating his will, eyes drifting to the new percentage. _Blood Toxicity:24%_

Tony was dying, he was damn sure he was going to enjoy it.

That was the only possible conclusion he could think of as he marched out onto the race track, pulling the now quitting driver as he slipped on the helmet, revving the engine as he pulled out onto the track.

He was pretty sure that Pepper was screaming at him somewhere, Clint was probably jealous, then mad.

He was driving, the sharp turns and banks were vanishing with the thrill of driving at a speed he was comfortable with, it was great, it was _exciting-_

Then suddenly he was flipping head over heels.

A man wearing a suit, _so similar in design it burned, _was smirking, approaching and twirling long electrically charged whips while Tony's adrenalin spiked, mind racing as to how he was supposed to actually survive this encounter.

The man with the whips slashed the car in half, just where Tony was a few seconds previously. He grabbed a red metal chunk from another smashed car, and slammed it hard into the man, who spun with his whips, knocking the metal aside and Tony to the ground.

He rolled out of the way of the whips, mentally cursing at how soon his death may be.

_'I was going to die in a few months, Goddamnit!'_ He mentally cursed as the whip slammed into the ground dangerously close as he parted his legs, getting up and starting to run before the electric energy propelled him into a car, _hard._

He grunted at the impact, sliding to the ground. He blinked, ignoring the blood on his cheek as he saw the large pool of gasoline pool around him, and the whips get closer.

He timed it right and rolled, flipping over the exploding car to gain a wall of fire between him and the possibly insane man.

He gasped, diving to the metal fence as the car Happy rented slammed into the insane whip twirling idiot, slamming him into the metal fence.

Tony gasped, looking at the smirking Clint as he backed up and slammed the man again for good measure, ignoring the positively traumatized Happy in the passenger seat while Pepper breathed fast in the backseat.

"You owe me, metal head." Clint hummed, and pointed to the backseat, causing Tony to mutter under his breath as he opened the car door, Pepper screaming at him.

He jumped back as the door fell apart in his hands, severed in half by the whip while Clint brutally slammed into the man again, cursing Tony loudly for not letting him bring his arrows.

"Give me the case!" Tony shouted while the whip was aimed for Clint, who ducked to avoid the almost lethal blow.

The suit landed at his feet and assembled quickly, a searing burning pain in his chest from where he knew he was probably destroying his life expectancy.

The whips were hitting hard, and the only thing that helped Tony as they latched onto his neck was the previous lightning strike Thor had given him a few months ago. He stood, yanking the whips towards him and flipping the man over his back, ripping out the power supply that looked too similar to an Arc Reactor for Tony's liking.

x-(X)-x

_Blood Toxicity: 53%_

The use of his suit had caused the Palladium poisoning to travel faster than he expected.

He was on the plane trip back when he came to his final conclusion- he wasn't going to look anymore at the toxic ratings. Every day may be his last, so he was damn well going to use it that way.

He practically destroyed the plane's kitchen area while attempting to make an omelet he had watched Steve make a few times.

Pepper grew suspicious at the mess he created, and he stumbled for an excuse.

"I don't want to go home. At all." He stated, Pepper looking at him with a lifted eyebrow, "Let's cancel my birthday party and…we're in Europe. Let's go to Venice, Cipriani. Remember?" He asked while Pepper gave a sigh but a nod.

"It's a great place to-" He paused, mind continuing on while his lips stopped on their course, _'It's a great place to stay for your last few days before you die. It's a wonderful place to die; by the canals and those little gondola's…'_"Be healthy." He lamely finished, throat suddenly much tighter then it was before.

"We are in a kind of a mess." Pepper sighed, and Tony momentarily stilled his thinking.

"Yeah, but maybe that's why it's the best time." He stressed. Why couldn't she see how much he wanted to go there?

"I think as the CEO I need to show up." Pepper argued.

"As CEO you are entitled to a-"

"Leave?" Pepper finished shortly, and Tony felt a feeling of dread at the loosing fight.

"Company retreat." Tony finished, clearing his throat softly.

"A retreat? During a time like this?" Pepper asked, exasperated while Tony paused, trying for one more fleeting moment to make the place of his death at least the serenity of Venice.

"I'm just saying to recharge our batteries and figure it all out." He added, voice small as he knew there was no more hope. Pepper gave a small smile before looking at him and finishing their conversation in a quiet voice.

"Not everyone runs on batteries, Tony."

x-(X)-x

He returned to the Avenger tower, smiling and laughing while in reality he sometimes grew momentarily blind, or the pain in his chest grew until it felt like he had a brand to the reactor.

He had been working on his will, spending money from his personal account, small things that were little trinkets to the others.

He gave his first gift to Thor; it wasn't anything major or fantastic actually.

He had bought a science lab in New York that dealt with the branch of science Thor's girlfriend Jane was in. Instantly she had moved over, joining Tony with the surprise.

Thor had been so ecstatic he had hugged Tony. The burning pressure of pain on Tony's reactor with the strength of Thor made enough pain for him to pass out. Thor believed he had just hugged Tony too tightly.

The next thing he did was grant Bruce access to every access code he had for R&D labs.

Bruce was stunned when he showed him the scientific playground. A small smile and a beckoning hand and Bruce vanished with a smile that couldn't be placed into words. Already he was rambling on about finding the cure to dozens of diseases he had encountered on his adventures in India and other countries. Tony was just happy that he was.

Clint and Natasha's gifts were combined.

He had them privately escorted to where he wanted them, when they excited the limo he had they froze at the sight in front of them.

Tony was leaning in the archway of a stone building with a beautiful iron gate. It was open and ready for use as Natasha slowly walked up the steps, trailing her finger tips on the smooth stone and looking at Tony with an odd glistening in her eye while Clint didn't say anything, just stared.

"You brought us to an orphanage?" She asked quietly, and Tony instead took a folded piece of paper from his pocket.

"I bought it for you, actually. I know you SHIELD spies aren't supposed to have anything in your names; I was hoping your titles would work." Tony hummed, tossing the deed to Clint who uncurled it, seeing their code names printed nice and neatly on the paper.

"There's a large ballroom in the back. I didn't mean to snoop but I saw your file. I thought you might like teaching little girls ballet, and Clint? There's an animal adoption center around the corner. I know you like animals." Tony nodded, and the two just stared.

Tony would say that he was all cool and collected over the exchange. Clint looked very small and fragile while Natasha gave him a slightly trembling hug as they walked inside the stone building together, leaving Tony outside and feeling an ache in his bones.

He was feeling off. In the mirror the long black trails of poison were snaking their way towards his neck, and he was feeling weak. Sleeping more and feeling exhausted over the smallest things, he wasn't able to keep many foods down, and instead gulping down Chlorophyll as his life depended on it

It wasn't until the next day, the day before his birthday when he finally found an appropriate gift for Steve.

For Steve he took him out to a small fancy restaurant that had live music and served fresh seafood by the pier.

Steve was confused once Tony escorted him to the table set up for two, leaving and pointing to Steve for the old lady who kissed his cheek in thanks.

He didn't stay to see the reactions, but he could hear the sudden croak of 'Peggy?' as he snuck out of the restaurant, heading to his home to write a few more things in his will.

The day of his birthday he looked in the mirror, the trails now looking like some sick twisted idea of a tattoo as they snaked over his chest, bleaching the skin around to an almost translucent look.

Natasha knocked on the door and walked in, she was wearing a stunning black dress that Tony normally would have drooled over if it wasn't for the date and current situation.

He sat there as Natasha carefully dabbed on conceiver over the cut Vanko had given him in Monaco when he stated the question he had feared.

"Can I ask you a question hypothetically? It's a bit odd…" Tony stated, but Natasha just arched one eyebrow.

"If…this was your last birthday party you're ever going to have, how would you celebrate it?" He asked, worried she'd question him for that.

Instead her face drew carefully blank as she added the finishing touches, standing back with a near emotionless look on her face as she answered sadly, "I'd do whatever I wanted to do, with whoever I wanted to do it with."

She turned and walked out, her tone leaving an impression that she wasn't talking about Tony.

x-(X)-x

Tony managed to completely ruin his party.

It wasn't the moment he was fighting Steve, Rhodey (Who took the plans for Iron Man, just as he had intended.), and Thor at once, it was the moment when he woke up from his poison induced fainting when he saw Rhodey blast off, giving him a look of pure disappointment from behind the metal mask.

Tony was completely and utterly alone, and although inside he was screaming and possibly crying for there to be anyone except the ruined top floor of the Avengers tower to comfort him as he slipped away and died, a little part of him whispered it was for the better.

He snuck away from the SHIELD guards that were watching him, apparently deeming him an intoxicated threat. He took the AudiR8 and snuck over to the Stark Tower, slipping inside to his previous office where Pepper was busy on a phone with the board of directors.

Tony didn't say anything as she shouted at him for being irresponsible, and for using the suit in such a way.

He took it and sat there, because even if Pepper was shouting at him it was better than never seeing her before dying.

He took all of his stuff with him, it would be less strain on her if she saw it all, and took it back to the tower, storing it on Jarvis.

It was honestly pure luck when Jarvis was creating copies of the physical models to store easier when Tony stopped when he saw something his hope starved mind picked up on.

Fiddling and playing around with an impossible connection thus did he find a new element, an element which would _save him._

He bought everything he needed and through the pain he worked, locking out everyone as he apparently 'was too pissed to face everyone's face like a real hero.'

Tony just didn't want them to see him almost die.

He had only barely managed to create the element, finding the glowing triangle and jamming it into the already made Reactor and plugging it in when his hearing had vanished and his eyes had swirled, rolling back into his head when he collapsed, palladium advancing too far already.

The moment he woke up, feeling better than he had for months now did he see Dummy gesturing rapidly towards the TV, playing some sort of massive drone invasion that was eerily familiar to his own suits.

He groaned, forcing himself to his knees and dragging himself over to the suits and stepping on the loading platform, slowly regaining his normal perception as he blasted off, moving towards the Expo where the entire fight apparently was.

He locked onto the frequency, joining the battle secretly as Natasha reported the status with the computer.

Thor slammed a drone to the ground as more came, surrounding the group while Tony landed in the center, causing the Avengers there to shout out his name in surprise as they ducked as lasers (inspired by the light beam from the particle accelerator) sliced through the group.

_"Never thought you'd show up." _Rhodey stated, landing and firing off multiple blasts, Natasha stating that she had somehow 'disconnected' WarMachine from something Tony didn't know.

He found Vanko not that far away within a great metal sphere and he blasted off, Rhodey following as they attacked, eventually ending with an explosion from what destroyed the top floor of the house.

But of course, there were bombs.

Bruce managed to evacuate the Expo area, so it was mostly safe for the bombs to just go off while SHIELD took care of Vanko's body, once Tony had destroyed the fake Arc Reactor and all of his research of course.

What he didn't count on was walking back into the Avenger tower's with the others and having Jarvis rat him out.

He blinked confused while Pepper stormed right up to him, slapped him, then ranted on about how he was _dying_, then kissed him.

The other Avengers took it well, only resorting to screaming instead of attacking him. Once Tony said nothing but pointed out the things he had gotten for them did they drawl into silence. He wasn't not thinking, he had planned the game out so well not even Natasha could recognize the chess board he had created.

The new element worked and Iron Man was back in order, his veins were still discolored from the Palladium but he wasn't dying.

That was all he could ask for to be honest. It was a …relieving, feeling. And he found the entire thing morbid and fascinating in his own special way.

He now realized why parents never told another about Cancer or any other terminal disease, Innocence is Bliss,

And sometimes, people just don't deserve to look at you with pity, and share your sadness. They don't deserve sadness, nor should they remember you and see a withered shell of a man or woman.

They should remember you laughing, perfect, amazing and _beautiful._

But sometimes, not dying was even better.

* * *

**Thanks! Review!**

**~Oceanbreeze7**


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